please, please

I am a mother of three who lost my son last fall. I not had a blog, but I looked through other blogs about stillborn and found many, more than my heart could stand. I have followed some and experienced others lives and felt the pain, recognized the feelings, felt drawn to it, mesmerized by the feeling, like I found friends, annomously, in the only way I could feel or be part of anything. THe only way I know how, by looking in from the outside. One of the blogs I was following was made private, I feel like I lost a friend, but I am sure she had her reasons.